Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
