HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
