i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
