its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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