I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
