conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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