I like my sex mixed with concussions.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
