Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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