he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
