Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
