dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
