are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I got her a Nickelback box set.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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