I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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