we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
