Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
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