i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
