when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
