Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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