worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
