whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
