Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
