had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
