I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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