thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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