listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
