Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
