What a fucking waste of an outfit
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
