Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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