she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
