Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
