Christians are straight up FREAKS
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
