Taylor Swift is so right about you.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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