I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
