I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you traded sex for a burrito?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
