You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
