think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
