i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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