Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
