I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
