3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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