Can i not drive my cunt home
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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