i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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