The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
