when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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