My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
