Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
