Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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