he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
