Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm passing your future prison.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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