id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
